Presenting the Most Selfish Blood Donor in the World!

Later today I get to donate blood.

But here’s the thing.

I’m donating it…to myself.

Yup, you heard right. I am storing away blood for FUTURE ME.

Baby, I’m yours!
photo courtesy of Flickr and jeremyfoo

See I am getting jaw surgery (street name: JAWS) in two weeks and I just need to put a little hemoglobin investment away in case my body decides to bleed more than is necessary (generously could be the choice adverb here).

I am pretty excited because I have never given blood before. Silly things have held me back like the possibility of malaria or bona fide anemia.

Today, we’re throwing past grievances aside, and going for the red.

My mom said I will get a chocolate chip cookie for my time, but I think that’s for people who are donating blood to other people. If you are donating blood to yourself, you already get something better. A sense of unease! That is pretty timeless.

I’ll drink to that!
photo courtesy of Flickr and jimwolffman

Also, I got blood drawn last week and the nice male tech took all the time in the world to find my vein. First he found it and then no blood would come out (so clearly it was a ghost vein), and then he found it but it only filled up two tubes and no blood would come out for the third tube. Then we switched arms and he finally got everything he needed.

So today is like that except it’s gonna be a big ol’ ladypurse full!

I can’t wait! I’m dizzy with anticipation of being dizzy afterward!

P.S. TMI on JAWS soon enough.

P.P.S. I feel like an auto-cannibalistic vampire what with storing away my blood in case I have a biological urge for it later. Phew that vampires are cool right now!

Truly Blood (the comedic spin-off to True Blood starring me this afternoon).
photo courtesy of Flickr and cesarastudillo

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