Then I’ll slurp and I’ll burp and I’ll get oatmeal all over your shirt again!
Just another typical afternoon here in Fractured Fairy Tale Land.
Coming back to work has proven difficult in terms of cleaning out my mouth, hydrating myself properly, and eating on schedule. Plus every meal means a guaranteed stain somewhere on my clothing. Just moments ago, some yogurt plopped on my pants. I’ve never felt so empowered.
I am intrigued by having a numb chin though. It’s like the opposite of a phantom limb because it’s there but I just have no sensation in it whatsoever. I like to tap on it and squish it around because it’s amazing how something can be fully alive, but feel totally dead to you. [Insert forced joke about ex-boyfriends. LADIES?!? Pandering.]
Imagine if this guy couldn’t feel his chin! Maybe that’s what’s on his mind.
Also my craving for a nice sandwich remains unrequited though applesauce has become akin to a new lover for me. Glop gloop.
I did get a piece of office birthday cake though I couldn’t balance my cake-consumption-to-banter ratio because I was too concerned about chin crumbs. Small victories!
Oh, also, this is from a press release I got at work [my red italicized comments are in brackets]:
“Workers shared some of the craziest things their co-workers have done on the job: