So I had my one month check-up with my oral surgeon today, and lots of check pluses and smiley faces with properly aligned smiles all over my report card.
No, but seriously, he said everything is looking “very, very good” and that is despite the fact that soup is dripping down my chin right now.
I did share with him (and now, with you) that I’m having some mild headaches and slight earaches from clenching my jaw in my sleep so he told me to “teach myself to stop clenching. It’s bad for the muscles.” Didja hear that? Wisdom for the ages, everyone! Stop clenching! And stop letting your minds go below the belt and into the gutter.
Also, Dr. Surgeon taped my thank you card right outside his office for all to see and fear. Z’oh my WHAO. Talk about a resounding endorsement! My swollen post-surgical mugshot has now become the equivalent of a Variety testimonial on a Broadway billboard. I am the face of maxillofacial change. YES WE CAN-OPENER (for the soups).
Finally, Dr. Surgeon took some glamour shots of me before we wrapped up (for his lookbook I’m sure). I get to be one of the success stories (famous last brags)! But sadly, in the one where he told me to smile, he had to coach me to “show a little teeth,” and I think it very quickly turned into a primate expressing rage.
I can now add mouth model to my resume.
photo courtesy of Flickr and King Chimp (Soon to be Riley Bobs)