So I bought this sleep CD in line at Rite Aid a few days ago along with some generic Tylenol because when I go to drug stores, I can’t buy just one thing. Not when there are so many useful things sitting around! I can’t stop. Don’t judge me. I saw it, I thought “Oh, a night of peace and solitude!”, and I instinctively went for my savings card.
Except that I don’t have a Rite Aid savings card at Rite Aid, only one for CVS. But guess what?! I bought it anyway!!! That is the kind of pathological behavior I exhibit given the right fluorescent-lit, consumer-driven atmosphere.
I saw it as a Baby Mozart for adults. Maybe there’s something to these fads. That is, I listen to it and not only do I sleep better but I get smarter and more eloquent. Then, after I have that under my belt, I start reaping other benefits like people telling me my hair smells good and I stop being late to everything all the time. This is usually the logic spiral I employ to justify the most ridiculous purchase to myself, which is usually just the newest line of chapgloss. Either way. But still, I was excited. It said something about clinical testing for use with soldiers on the back. I like order! I could use some discipline with my snooze-hitting schedule! I like military corners on my bed!
So I tried it out, and guess what? I settled in, I listened, I grumbled. The ocean noises were nice and they segued into the loveliest non-threatening new age music, but my mind goes a mile a minute (no time for conversions!). So I just started imagining what kind of ocean it was and what types of characters in a movie would exist for a new age soundtrack and it kept me up for quite a bit.
I need to buy some old-school lullabies. Rockabye Bebby instrumental, and maybe something a little less evocative. I could have just dealt with some sleep affirmations: “You’ve got the prettiest snore,” “Your nose curls upward when you snooze,” “You’re a go-getter, and you’re gettin’ that rest!” Things of that nature.
Also, I already tweeted about the above and the below but sometimes things beg for more elucidation than 140 characters. I have no shame in that.
I went to the ophthalmologist (spelling that counts as a brag) yesterday and this was what met my eyes.
A flat-screen fireplace at eye level! First of all, it’s Spring. Second of all, why is it trying to be a dreamy pizza oven in a waiting room? Regardless, I was entranced and didn’t bother helping myself to any of the enticing magazines or free email access. Begrudgingly, I almost see the point. Fire is fire. Humanity is impressed. Prometheus still got it!