I wonder if we knew how long we had a person for, we would live or love any differently.

Yet, all moments are still authentic, and the ones we remember are carried with great weight.

A year later, and it still feels like I just woke up.

Miss you, Alice.

Via Facebook

Absence Makes the Heart Go Wander

I found this passage that I first read more than 4 years ago from one of my favorite books that Alice once told me she loved as well, though she didn’t quite get through all of it because the library needed it back. Oh, Alice. I think you would be surprised how often something reminds me of you.

“La ausencia tenía efectos indelebles. Los rostros se desdibujaban en la borrosa sustancia de los recuerdos. A veces se preguntaba si aquellas personas habrían existido realmente. La nostalgia lograba cubrirlos de ropajes míticos y extraños. El tiempo tramposo ocultaba tras su neblina el pasado, lo rendía inexistente, lo asociaba en la mente a la imaginación o los sueños. El espacio que en una época ocupara {ellos}, se llenaba de otras imágenes, otras vivencias. Dejaban de compartir lo cotidiano, la materia prima de la vida. Era una pérdida, un hueco, un agujero negro tragándose la estrella {de ellos}, un mecanismo oscuro de la mente buscando proteger el corazón siempre fiel al dolor de la ausencia.”

~La mujer habitada por Gioconda Belli

[English translation:]

“Absence has indelible effects. The faces undraw themselves in the fuzzy substance of memories. At times one asks oneself if those people had really existed. Nostalgia succeeds in covering them in mythical and strange clothing. Crooked time hides the past through a mist, rendering it inexistent, associating it in the mind with the imagination or dreams. The space that at one time occupied {them}, fills itself with other images, other lifetimes. It stops sharing the daily, the prime material of life. It is a loss, a hollow, a black hole swallowing the{ir} star, a dark mechanism of the mind searching to protect the always loyal heart from the pain of their absence.”

~The Dwelling Woman By Gioconda Belli

Garden Statements

Oh! I wrote this month’s NBC blog about Alice. I keep thinking about her, and it felt right.

***

Why did no one tell me about Nick Drake earlier?! And I have to go and learn these things from books. Just kidding; there’s no better way to find out about cool things than through books that are made of fiction, based in reality. You feel like you’ve been let in on a best-kept secret. Most fitting that I learn about Nick Drake through Nick Hornby.

(speaking of Nicks, Nick Turner called me a pixie yesterday)

Listen to the Drake here. Zach Braff went googly-eyed for this guy. What’s stopping the rest of us? Besides Zach Braff forcing his tastes on us, I mean.

Enough pop references! The new haircut. Well; it has returned to its natural, free, curly, unkempt state. My head looks like some kind of microcosm of chaos, but hey, I’m not apologizing. What you see is what you get!

I am still obsessed with the psychology behind mass emails and the reply-all function. Especially when those mass emails concern comedians. It immediately turns into a WHO DA FUNNIEST competition, arbitrated by no one because no one cares, and yet the ones duking it out with slams and counter-retorts care far beyond what is appropriate for a weekday afternoon.

I’ll give you a completely random example!

Sender: FooBear
Recipients: ChooBear, RooBear, GooBear, BlooBear, GlooBear
Subject: Has anyone seen my socks?
Body: Well?

1 minute later…

Sender: ChooBear
Recipients: FooBear, RooBear, GooBear, BlooBear, GlooBear
Subject: RE: Has anyone seen my socks?
Body: I’m wearin’ em!

30 second later…

Sender: RooBear
Recipients: ChooBear, FooBear, GooBear, BlooBear, GlooBear
Subject: RE: RE: Has anyone seen my socks?
Body: I put one over the doorknob. You know what that means…

2 minutes later…

Sender: BlooBear
Recipients: ChooBear, RooBear, GooBear, FooBear, GlooBear
Subject: RE: RE: RE: Has anyone seen my socks?
Body: I love socks. You could say I have a sock-shual feetish. However, that’s just my two innocence.

1 minute later…

Sender: RooBear
Recipients: ChooBear, FooBear, GooBear, BlooBear, GlooBear
Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: Has anyone seen my socks?
Body: You guys! I meant, I have a girlfriend now, and I am getting sweet action!

30 seconds later…

Sender: GlooBear
Recipients: ChooBear, RooBear, GooBear, BlooBear, FooBear
Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: Has anyone seen my socks?
Body: UNSUBSCRIBE.

1 minute later…

Sender: ChooBear
Recipients: FooBear, RooBear, GooBear, BlooBear, GlooBear
Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: Has anyone seen my socks?
Body: I think you just got your answer, FooBear. Gloobear is clearly guilty. BURN, SON!!!!!!!!!!

If you find my example tragic and telling, you should see my inbox.

Speaking of tragic and telling, there was this womanface at this comedy show last night who proceeded to make a face and a snide comment indicating how she felt after every single one of everybody’s jokes last night. I’ll give you a hint. Most of the comments and faces were negative.

I don’t even understand what this person would be like in real life. Oh wait, still annoying. Guess that answers that life mystery. (I’m such a jerk! HeeHoo!)