I’m Just Ballin’…Spitballin’ Son!

I was at a restaurant with the sig otro the other night, and the following happened.

We got our check, and the our super-nice and thoughtful waitress had written, “Thank you!” on it in a cheerful, helpful script, and we were both like “Awwwww” but not in an annoying couply way (OBVI).

So then when I was signing my check (we split the bill like 21st century feminist astronauts), I wrote “Thank you!” on it.

And then boyfie was all, “Don’t write that! It looks sarcastic!” Then I thought about underlining the “you” but that would have looked even more sarcastic.

So I had gotten myself in a real muddle, because he was right. I tried to one-up her sincere niceness game and I ended up looking like a perfunctory pickle trying to masquerade as a cool, collected cucumber. She probably took one look and ripped it up…with her teeth!

I am the straw that broke the customer servant’s back!

Waitresses are people too! And how!
photo courtesy of Flickr and flattop341


In PWNED news, I had to IM the IT guy today to ask him an urgent question (hadn’t happened in awhile), and his new AIM icon was a large, glaring tribal mask.

It doesn’t take a symbology major to pick up on the subtlety there.

So naturally, the following conversation ensued:

Aparna: angry tiki mask
Aparna: really
IT Guy: That is its purpose.
IT Guy: It keeps away evil spirits.
IT Guy: Are you an evil spirit?
Aparna: how dare you

Anyway, things escalated and I ended up having to pay him an actual face-to-face visit for SUPER REAL help with a NOT IMAGINARY problem.

Sad story short, it ended up being a minor glitch that I could’ve fixed myself and IT Guy communicated this information to me very clearly using a language exclusively made up of snorts and eyerolls.

But then I looked at some of these (July 23 is perfection) to feel better about myself. And it worked. Of course.

This is me, actually.
photo courtesy of Flickr and rileyroxx

Help request? More like Self-Help request; am I right, Crazies?!


Other quick notes of (dis)interest:

I realize I’m ok with the stairwell at work smelling like urine. I know this because I didn’t even flinch today when I noticed that the stairwell at work smelled like urine! Even though it’s never smelled like that before!

Conclusion: I’m open-minded!

I have a bug-bite stigmata on my foot. It’s a Bermuda triangle of itching and yellow skin pus caps. It seeps regularly, and all the bites operate as one trained unit in terms of ambiguous excretions.

Conclusion: Too much information? Not enough calamine!

I learned this new corporate drone term—spitballing! And I can’t stop using it.

Conclusion: I’m not completely sold on it yet as breakout star of my new, as-yet-to-be-determined catchphrase but maybe toss some more popaway flys at me, and we’ll touch base soon, chief! (sports metaphors dropped with casual enthuzed-ness are the only thing worse! *fist pumps and pounds all around*)

Connect the Dots & Thank Your Lucky Stars

I think I’m figuring out the importance of connections. I think the reason I miss Alice so much is not because we were so very very close, but because she was one of those people who made you happy just knowing that she was out there in the world. The little messages I got from her bespoke a connection and impact far deeper than even she might have realized. She represented so much good and contentment for me, and it’s hard to even acknowledge that that little light is no longer burning.

(Why doesn’t she get to do all the things the rest of us get to do? Even down to the miniscule effort of tying a shoe?)

But going to Massachusetts this past weekend showed me how much she meant to so many people, and in a way, it was truly comforting and peaceful. Because in that way, I learned how parts of Alice are still very much alive.

It’s strange how just one little conversation with another human being can be enough sometimes to convince you that everything will be ok. And not even someone you know particularly well. I conversed with the IT guy today who came to replace Ol’ Faithful (he actually called the compo that, which begs the question…does he read my inane story-rambles?! As Cathy would say, Ack!!! Maybe we just operate on similar wavelengths. Ladyfingers crossed) and I asked him about his weekend. And it was really swell to listen to hear him talk about it. It was genuinely so nice because he went ahead and told me all about it. It made me happy.

I need to do that more often.

In silly news, I saw a man in full pajamas at a rest stop yesterday driving the I-95 north-to-south corridor, and I realized he must be doing something right. We all could learn from him!

Behold the stylish cut and everyday comfort of los pijamas! This is not actually the Pajama Man, for the record.
photo courtesy of Flickr and kballard

Someone Make a Crack About What Website It Was, I Dare You

sometimes my computer lies to me.

i was just crowdsurfing the internet and i tried to check up on one of my very favorite sites so i typed in the address and pressed the work-it button, and box o’ junx straight up told me “this site is not available.”

it’s the lying part that really hurts

that is some availabullshit!

so i didn’t even blink, i just refreshed that piece. and lo and behold up, it appeared cristal-clear like nothing was ever broken.

well nothing visible anyway.

on a microscopic level, another tiny fissure appeared in an otherwise seemingly functional relationship. ‘puter please.