To clear the airwaves, yes, half my head did appear a couple times on the Last Comic Standing premiere last night. Also about half a second of me frolicking offstage. The fame is going to half of my head already. Why just this morning I had to indulge in starting a few lies about myself, and circulating them between the alarm clock and…myself. Lies such as “I don’t need you telling me how to run my life, clock!” and “Maybe just five more minutes…”
In other (literally) breaking news, I was adjusting my sunglasses on my forehead this morning, when they snapped clean in half. It was a moment straight out of a comic-book action hero movie. More specifically, the scene near the beginning wherein the hero/heroine is first discovering his/her superpowers. What do you mean you don’t get it? Ok, so I didn’t accidentally melt a wall with my mind. But my shades literally just snapped in half, and I barely touched them!
What do you mean they were probably cheap? How dare you!
I mean it’s true, but still, how dare you!
The Bauble-Bustin’-Babe and her sidekick Trinketz the Alarm Clock are not amused.