Bring Your Own Rufies

So I got this Evite! Who doesn’t like getting a nice Evite? I hate responding to them though, or taking any direct action with them whatsoever, because then the pressure kicks in to “show up” and “look nice” and act in other responsible adult capacities.

This particular Evite is different though. Because it’s from people I do not know. I’ve gotten Evites from people I don’t really know directly before, but this time, I can’t even figure out who I know who knows these people. I just straight up don’t know who these people are except that they are fellow yoo-mans in this big, wide world who also enjoy weekend festivities. It’s not a big, clubby, clown-car party either where the hoped-for outcome is to jam as many gyrating bodies as possible into a given urban space. It’s a private affair with chandelier earrings and well-lighted digital glamera opportunities.

So rather than foolhardily thinking I’m popular, I’m erring on the side of extreme caution, as my primary superpower is gullibility. I would go so far as to say I distinctly foreshadow-smell a Carrie-type incident. In fact, my suspicions are confirmed by the fact that the event is PROM-themed. Ha! “Maybe” next time, ladies (no seriously, I have a time conflict)!

No, thanks. I still suffer from Post-Promatic Stress Disorder from the first time around.
photo courtesy of Flickr and enkrates

*

Also remember how I moved into a different office? No? It’s ok. You may still continue reading. Well, I don’t know if I mentioned it, but lots of my fellow employees changed offices at the same time. Our entire company was scrambled in its local geography. So today we have a walking tour to orient ourselves with our former neighbors’ new locations. With refreshments might I add! Dang yes, I’m excited! An afternoon stroll, and I don’t even have to exit the building and can leave my security card at my desk (not actually though)? Yes please!

The one thing lacking in this walking tour will be superb examples of moss growth. But one can hope!
photo courtesy of Flickr and SqueakyMarmot

P.S. I found an ad in the paper this morning for free bunion surgery granted you participate in a foot pain research study, for which you also get compensated! I’m telling you, guys. It doesn’t get any better.

A Wordplay in Three Act(ually)s

PART A: Giggle Storm

(written at some point yesterday afternoon)

I think I’m delirious. I’m sitting all by myself and have been almost all day, and I can’t stop giggling. Not just a muffled giggling. But my very torso is quaking. Things have gotten delightful to a point that I just can’t ignore. Someone emailed me saying they wanted to make nice on a two-year feud I had no idea we were having. Can you imagine? Sitting on something for 600+ days, and the other person has no idea they’re involved? That’s some serious Lifetime Movies-type commitment! Then I got an email qualifying me to win FREE LASIK SURGERY. Somehow the idea of giving away complimentary surgery prizes doesn’t feel right no matter how many times you say it to yourself, the last time nearly in tears. Trip to Barbados or nose job?! You choose! Even worse, what if it was a nose temp job?! Who even knows what that would look like?!

Note to self: Stop starting feuds of which you’re entirely unaware.

Additional Note: Don’t let these “feuds” build up for two years.

PART B: Supersize That Cookie

I had this conversation with Luci, also yesterday:

11:59 AM

Luci: have you ever seen a giant cookie

12:00 PM

me: several times

Luci: i see. well, it was my first time.

12:01 PM

me: that’s beautiful! how do you feel about it

12:06 PM

Luci: i think i saw one in my dreams once when i was 8. it was like a throwback.

Luci has the most wonderful way of putting things.

I’m apparently not the only one who puts giant cookies on pedestals.
photo courtesy of Flickr and gesika22

PART C: Deconstructing Bugaboo

The poor word can’t catch a break.

1. urban dictionary’s most popular definition is:

bugaboo (n.) – Gurl or Guy Who Dont Leave You Alone.

Callin You Up Every Two Minutes On Your Celly, and Just Dont Trust You Doin Nothin, You Say Your Out Wit Your Boiz And She Thinks Your [sic] Out Creepin With Some Other Trick.

2. The regular dictionary.com says:

bug·a·boo –noun, plural -boos. something that causes fear or worry; bugbear; bogy.

[Origin: 1730–40; earlier buggybow. See bogy, boo]

3. Perhaps the most literal definition of the term I can think of as yet is the small insect that keeps biting me and zipping around my office, incognito-mosquito style!

Incognito Mosquito also happens to be the name of the first childhood story read to me (during library time) involving rampant wordplay. Very befittingly, I didn’t understand any of it until the much riper age of adolescence. Punbelievable.

4. Bugaboo is a song by Destiny’s Child, the original fivesome.

Here are some of the lyrics:

Chorus-
You Make Me Wanna Throw My Pager Out The Window
Tell Mci To Cut The Phone Calls
Break My Lease So I Can Move
’cause You A Bug A Boo A Bug A Boo
I Wanna Put Your Number On The Call Block
Have Aol Make My E Mails Stop
’cause You A Bug A Boo
You Buggin What You Buggin Who You Buggin Me
And Don’t You See It Ain’t Cool

[via: AbsoluteLyrics]

I enjoy the shout-outs to pagers, MCI, and AOL as an email provider.

5. Finally, Bugaboo is a low-budget movie filmed in the Silicon Valley in 1999. It enjoyed little fame and even less success.

In fact, its one comment on IMDB is:

Officially the worst movie I have seen, 9 May 2005
Author: vjbytes from United States (1 out of 10 stars)

This was being shown on AZN (previously international channel). For the record, before I say anything about this movie, I must say that I love independent movies and usually like low budget movies. But this was an exercise of tolerance. I have seen bad movies, bad in certain aspects. However, this movie hits on lows on every front. The writing is pathetic, acting uggHH.. , every character is miscast. The casting seems to have been done at the local Indian grocery store. Movies in this genre have the added advantage in background scores of being able to try fusion music, however, this one sounded like they combined cell phone rings together. This movie could have been nice, given the premise.. (like Office space, and other similar comedies )The rest of my Sunday can only be better.”

The movie, as I have seen it myself, was aptly titled.

6. Oh wait! Hold the cellphones and ringtones! Bugaboo is also a famous baby stroller company (a one-piece foldable stroller “for those who live life on the fly”). I think that just about cancels out everything else.

Snugaboo as a bugaboo in a rugaboo
photo courtesy of Flickr and jencu