Two Weddings and a Funnel

I. My Inner Child Uses an Indoor Voice at All Times

My sister (who was visiting) and I got the chance to hang out with some little kids yesterday afternoon (the grandkids of some close family friends).

Woweee zowee, does that do wonders for your skin! And I mean the skin of your aura.

(I am always almost thinking about auras because there is this place near my work that specializes in free aura readings, and they always promote them with a smiley face.

How can you say no to a free aura reading being advertised with a smiley face?! I don’t know, but somehow I have managed to successfully do it for multiple days and months in the past years. Anyhoo.)

Back to the little kids. Jeepies bleepies if those lil’ tweeps don’t know how to squeeze all the fun out of the day like it was a juice orange begging for validation.

What frenzied fun didn’t our ragtag group take part in?!

We toured their neighborhood on bikes; almost met their neighbor who turned out not to be home; played hide-and-go-seek; played the Eye Spy + 20 Questions game; ate cookies; were denied further cookies by the parental units; ate orange wedges to compensate; talked about our interests and ages (apparently being anywhere near over 21 means you’re “way adults”; hid a fake spider in various, strategic locations; checked the TV just as a matter of course; toured the house; looked at family vacation albums at flipbook speed; climbed a tree and/or watched a tree being climbed; basically, anything and everything that somehow goes out of fashion when you hit puberty, but should technically never go out of fashion ever.

The best/worst part is I reverted to my pre-pubescent self in which I didn’t feel cool enough to hang out with those free spirits. My sister did most of the talking, including for any and all negotiations of “what should we do next?” Twenty years and nothing has changed!

II. Wedding the Palate

I also went to two Hindu weddings this weekend.

One took place in a botanical garden and one took place in a sculpture garden!

All I took pictures of though was the sculpture garden one.

The first wedding was at the American Visionary Art Museum in that secret wink-nod of a city, Baltimore. That place continues to ply me with its charming wares. The entire grounds around the museum were fancyfree, whimsy pajama-pants slamtastic.

Here’s the wedding set up in the sculpture garden.

The couple fed each other organic, fair trade chocolate during this one step where they’re supposed to feed each other. Hey people! How brown can we get?!

The ceiling of the sculpture garden had murals and spiritual verses on it for musing and pondering.

There was also a giant frog prince in attendance at the wedding!

The wooden castle outside the sculpture garden!

The view from the wooden castle! A wooden giraffe is indeed in view!

Dainty flowers charmin’ it up at the foot of the wooden castle!

Iddy-biddy kewpie birdies sittin’ on the ledge…

…of a tree pot!

I love fountains where the water is implied facial spittle.

Bling bling tree!

Bling bling museum!

Guitar (hero) bird!

Guitar (hero) bird’s nest!

Guitar (hero) bird’s egg!

Oh, and at the second wedding, apparently the priestess yelled “Please focus!” at the bride because apparently, she wasn’t concentrating enough.

Hey, Holy Lady, that’s my friend you’re talking about! And she happens to be getting married so yeah, maybe she has some stuff on her mind!

III. Thirst-Quenching Conclusion

To conclude, I now fill my water bottle at home using a funnel. Because the water cooler spout is all futzy. It spits all over the place like an overdramatic but mediocre storyteller so you have to harness its enthusiasm with a more open-minded, wider scope of reference distilled into a logic tunnel of thought.

And yes, the fact that we have a water cooler in our house does up the quality of our banter. Something about them just brings out one’s inner conversational bard.

There. And now the blog title finally makes sense.

Innocence on the Line Plus Shamelessness Too

This morning, I saw the best thing in the world!

It was a tiny train of tots being shepherded by their watchers and preservers by holding onto a rope. You can’t see the rope, but oh, it’s there!

I’m sure I’ve talked about this before because there must be a daycare center or something near my work, but it’s too cute to compute. Every time I see them, my heart needs a Zack Morris “Time Out” from real life for a few.

And today, the odds were stacked against me further because as the kiddies were approaching an intersection, ANOTHER train of hope-on-a-rope emerged from around the corner. Like two beacons of glowing youth passing in the daylight!

I had to stop myself from snapping cellphone pictures a little too liberally because I realized how inappropriate I looked. Do you pedo-feel me? TOO FAR. ‘Parna out.

No but actually, at one point, Group 2 experienced some kind of kid-tastrophe wherein 3 of the lil’ buggers decided to sit down at the same time, which caused another one to roll over and yet another one to let go of the rope in a frenetic panic state. Needless to say, the train had to make an emergency stop for apple juice and repairs.

Warning: Blatant Bragging Ahead!

I am the featured comedian on Rooftop Comedy’s Asian Comedy page this week (up until Monday, March 2, I do believe)! Yay! Thanks in advance for watching!

Here is the clip below:

And one more for good measure:

If I Ruled the World, I’d Fire Myself and Hire a Kid to Replace Me

In case you didn’t notice, kids (if polled at the right age) have some great opinions.

Which is just further proof that they should rule the world now (in terms of abstract matters rather than practical ones such as getting their raincoats on), and not later when they’re all growed up and jaded.

I have the luxury of frequenting a children’s (ch)art(er) school as a nighttime rehearsal space, and recently, the kids there partook in some kind of current events activity wherein they made election campaign posters for themselves and what they stood for. I deduced this line of reasoning from the many campaign posters all over the hallway walls.

This one was my favorite.

It has all the components of a winning candidate: cool name (check), likeness to Sponge Bob as a skater (check), and a fool-proof platform (check).

Who doesn’t like fun?! (Rhetorical, that’s who.)

Another girl’s campaign poster listed several reasons to vote for her, one of them being “because I am feeling more democratic than ever before.”

She wins all the prizes. That is one soundbite I’d like circulated.