Da Mom Diggity

My mother has a policy of me texting her and my Dad if and when I travel anywhere to let them know of my safe arrival. Totally always trendy in the (immigrant?) parenting world at any age or stage of life. If that means a text when I get to the grocery store that’s located on the far side of town, so be it.

They still expect this small and easy task of me even though I no longer live in their house and, in fact, live 3000 miles across the country. It’s the least I can do. Really. Just let a motha know!

However, it was much to my surprise and delight that I received a text from mommaroo the other day in this exact vein (not paraphrasing, this is the real deal): “Just landed in Chicago.”

Not only did I have no idea my parents were going to Chicago or why, but I had no idea that my mother holds herself to the same high standards that she espouses in me. So I wrote back “It’s about time!” to keep the mood light and the sentiments fresh.

P.S. This is my favorite audience for jokes these days. OBVI I use them for bringer shows too. They’re not huge drinkers, but they are huge winkers.

The Mawwww Who Texted Wosdfsdf Wolf

my mom & dad have started text messaging.

oh yes, and they have a whale of a time with it too!

ok, i’ll be honest. my dad sends coherent ones. once he sent me one wishing me well before a big comedy show, and he signed it off “love, dad” and everything. that’s called advanced placement texting.

but then again, my dad’s been stocking up on the online course credits lately. i think he’s up to five or six courses. he has multiple print-outs on navigating spreadsheets all over our computer station at home right now. and his typing speed is up to a blazing 30wpm…up from 12! (if you smirked, i will fight you)

on the other hand…my mom?

well. she only actually has one go-to text message in her stock reserve, and it’s only for the occasion of: utter low-grade panic (because let’s be honest, no one is using text messages in a state of real emergency [i.e., no one would message “brb, went 2 go find H2O and other survivorz”]).

here’s my mom’s emergency testing service text message (it starts, as all good form letters do, with personal nickname usage):

Aploo mom is woqprrggh worried

now, let’s be real for a second. i would actually appreciate receiving this notation during an apocalypse. a mother’s worry is like bonus frownie points for still not being courteous or responsible as a 25-year-old.

my favorite thing about this message is: all of it.

  • the randomness of the spacing.
  • the lack of any order whatsoever to the punctuation, capitalization and spelling. [let’s face it, proper english usage went out in 2005.]
  • the most adorable thing however is how she attempted the word “worried,” and utterly lost control of her fingers on the typepad because of her overriding sense of concern and fright, but then she somehow regained her cool to eventually get it out. [think mother lifting up car to save child effect.]
  • i know she has this message in her back-up files because once she sent it to me by accident, and then she tried to explain it away when i got home by saying it was a false alarm.

    but the damage was done. you can’t just write something like that, and not expect consequences! which she got in the form of a severe giggling and eyebrow waggling.

    someone is pretty pop.
    photo courtesy of Flickr and nate steiner


    oh, so remember my art orange?


    that is fine.

    you can still take great enjoyment in this midafternoon delight.

    also nadia told me chuck norris’s real name is carlos (wiki wiki whatttt?!). IF THAT AIN’T NEWS…(ominous trail-off)

    also courtesy of Google…but i think it applies to all of us:

    www.DatingWithoutDrama.com – Learn How To Understand Men – And Beat Them At their Own Game!