Three Unrelated Incidents Except I’m Relating Them to You Now

1. this happened today. i hate to state the obvious (to me) but there was a crime scene outside my office. when i went to get my (too soon?) morning jolt, i ran into some yellow tape quite literally. i’m not sure what happened but it was in front of a bank, so putting two 2 dollar bills together, i surmised a robbery, or a slobbery (poorly executed criminal operation). there wasn’t any indication of imminent dangers or strangers, so i poked my head around for a nano bit. a small crowd of two (including the archetype of an old lady) had amassed around the incident upon a second viewing, as these things are wont to do.

there is no crowd surfing allowed around crime scenes though it would lighten things up, in my unwarranted opinion.
photo courtesy of Flickr and clagnut

2. also! this happened yesterday. i went to the hotel parking garage (where i park for work) to get my car, and at the exact same time that i am getting out of the elevator in the garage, a kid is zooming toward me on his skateboard. ok. let me back that up. not really a kid. one of those manchildren you see walking around from time to time (caught between adolescence and his thirties). dressed like a punk-hipster sort. playmobile/no country for good haircuts/prince valiant blonde hairdo, wire-frame glasses, a bit chubby though wearing skinny jeans, smoking a ciggie, and also happened to be making a direct tangent toward me on his skateboard.

oh snap! this was the haircut on the right!
photo courtesy of Flickr and d&e

oh snap! this is a skateboard punkin!
photo courtesy of Flickr and soylentgreen23

except i hadn’t even gained but four feet of distance when he toppled over unceremoniously onto his non-ciggie hand, skateboard flipping out and flopping over to his side. the whole thing took place in slow motion. i practically saw it occurring even before it began to happen, and then, alas, it did happen.

“are you alright?!” i ventured one-quarter cautiously/three-quarters in disbelief. “oh yes,” he says, picking himself up business-casually and nonchalantly, “this happens all the time.” and i suppose by ‘this’ he meant falling. but what he actually meant was scaring parking garage denizens by practicing pratfalls in front of elevators on the regs. the punk lifestyle has very broad definitions (including taking mini-vacations from your mom’s basement), and this guy’s interpretation is more than welcome, comments the latest countercultural anthropologist.

3. also! this happened yesterday, with results today. i sent a happy birthday email to someone at work yesterday (on time, mind you), and she replied today morning with a “Thanks Aparana” but, as you can see, she spelled my name wrong. i believe the only proper response to this is a frowny face, so here goes:

photo courtesy of Flickr and tofslie

photo courtesy of Flickr and Joi

photo courtesy of Flickr and Just Taken Pics

it’s one thing to have someone mispronounce your name but misspell it in an email regularly! when your name is spelt properly not one inch away! CAMMAN. and may i add another CAMMAN for good, nay great, measure.