I’ve Got a Kitsch to Scratch

December 16, 2008January 8, 20186 Comments

Firsties, come to this if you can/could/perhaps!

TOP SHELF @ SOLLY’S U-STREET TAVERN
Where: 1942 11th St NW, WDC
Tonight @ 9pm
Hosted with grandiose commentary by Hampton & Aparna

Featuring
LISA FINE (marvel)
MIKE WAY (mastermind)
JEFF MAURER (virtuoso)
WILL HESSLER (powerhouse)
RYAN CONNER (prodigy)
MIKAEL JOHNSON (genius)

***

So today at work we had our holiday party! And because our party planning committee is fun and outgoing, they made us play a little mingle-jingle game wherein one of them stuck the name of a notable person on your back, and then you had to ask people around you questions to try and guess who the mystery celebrity was.

Look who I got!

NO, just look!
I KNOWwwwwwWWWWWuh. And no, it wasn’t a coincidence, but that’s cute that you thought that.

Also, boyfie and I actually did take a photo in LA. It was of a time travel store!! Well no, I’m not sure exactly what it carried as we didn’t have the foresight to go inside. I realize, in retrospect (sans time machine *sigh*), that this was a poorly made decision.

Lastly, at the kiddie school where I rehearse sometimes, I found this rendition of the President-elect. Technicolor! How jazzy! There was an entire series, but this one was my favorite.

A Wordplay in Three Act(ually)s

April 24, 2008January 8, 2018Leave a comment

PART A: Giggle Storm

(written at some point yesterday afternoon)

I think I’m delirious. I’m sitting all by myself and have been almost all day, and I can’t stop giggling. Not just a muffled giggling. But my very torso is quaking. Things have gotten delightful to a point that I just can’t ignore. Someone emailed me saying they wanted to make nice on a two-year feud I had no idea we were having. Can you imagine? Sitting on something for 600+ days, and the other person has no idea they’re involved? That’s some serious Lifetime Movies-type commitment! Then I got an email qualifying me to win FREE LASIK SURGERY. Somehow the idea of giving away complimentary surgery prizes doesn’t feel right no matter how many times you say it to yourself, the last time nearly in tears. Trip to Barbados or nose job?! You choose! Even worse, what if it was a nose temp job?! Who even knows what that would look like?!

Note to self: Stop starting feuds of which you’re entirely unaware.

Additional Note: Don’t let these “feuds” build up for two years.

PART B: Supersize That Cookie

I had this conversation with Luci, also yesterday:

11:59 AM

Luci: have you ever seen a giant cookie

12:00 PM

me: several times

Luci: i see. well, it was my first time.

12:01 PM

me: that’s beautiful! how do you feel about it

12:06 PM

Luci: i think i saw one in my dreams once when i was 8. it was like a throwback.

Luci has the most wonderful way of putting things.

I’m apparently not the only one who puts giant cookies on pedestals.
photo courtesy of Flickr and gesika22

PART C: Deconstructing Bugaboo

The poor word can’t catch a break.

1. urban dictionary’s most popular definition is:

bugaboo (n.) – Gurl or Guy Who Dont Leave You Alone.

Callin You Up Every Two Minutes On Your Celly, and Just Dont Trust You Doin Nothin, You Say Your Out Wit Your Boiz And She Thinks Your [sic] Out Creepin With Some Other Trick.

2. The regular dictionary.com says:

bug·a·boo –noun, plural -boos. something that causes fear or worry; bugbear; bogy.

[Origin: 1730–40; earlier buggybow. See bogy, boo]

3. Perhaps the most literal definition of the term I can think of as yet is the small insect that keeps biting me and zipping around my office, incognito-mosquito style!

Incognito Mosquito also happens to be the name of the first childhood story read to me (during library time) involving rampant wordplay. Very befittingly, I didn’t understand any of it until the much riper age of adolescence. Punbelievable.

4. Bugaboo is a song by Destiny’s Child, the original fivesome.

Here are some of the lyrics:

Chorus-
You Make Me Wanna Throw My Pager Out The Window
Tell Mci To Cut The Phone Calls
Break My Lease So I Can Move
’cause You A Bug A Boo A Bug A Boo
I Wanna Put Your Number On The Call Block
Have Aol Make My E Mails Stop
’cause You A Bug A Boo
You Buggin What You Buggin Who You Buggin Me
And Don’t You See It Ain’t Cool

[via: AbsoluteLyrics]

I enjoy the shout-outs to pagers, MCI, and AOL as an email provider.

5. Finally, Bugaboo is a low-budget movie filmed in the Silicon Valley in 1999. It enjoyed little fame and even less success.

In fact, its one comment on IMDB is:

“Officially the worst movie I have seen, 9 May 2005
Author: vjbytes from United States (1 out of 10 stars)

This was being shown on AZN (previously international channel). For the record, before I say anything about this movie, I must say that I love independent movies and usually like low budget movies. But this was an exercise of tolerance. I have seen bad movies, bad in certain aspects. However, this movie hits on lows on every front. The writing is pathetic, acting uggHH.. , every character is miscast. The casting seems to have been done at the local Indian grocery store. Movies in this genre have the added advantage in background scores of being able to try fusion music, however, this one sounded like they combined cell phone rings together. This movie could have been nice, given the premise.. (like Office space, and other similar comedies )The rest of my Sunday can only be better.”

The movie, as I have seen it myself, was aptly titled.

6. Oh wait! Hold the cellphones and ringtones! Bugaboo is also a famous baby stroller company (a one-piece foldable stroller “for those who live life on the fly”). I think that just about cancels out everything else.

Snugaboo as a bugaboo in a rugaboo
photo courtesy of Flickr and jencu

Three Unrelated Incidents Except I’m Relating Them to You Now

April 9, 2008January 9, 20182 Comments

1. this happened today. i hate to state the obvious (to me) but there was a crime scene outside my office. when i went to get my (too soon?) morning jolt, i ran into some yellow tape quite literally. i’m not sure what happened but it was in front of a bank, so putting two 2 dollar bills together, i surmised a robbery, or a slobbery (poorly executed criminal operation). there wasn’t any indication of imminent dangers or strangers, so i poked my head around for a nano bit. a small crowd of two (including the archetype of an old lady) had amassed around the incident upon a second viewing, as these things are wont to do.

there is no crowd surfing allowed around crime scenes though it would lighten things up, in my unwarranted opinion.
photo courtesy of Flickr and clagnut

2. also! this happened yesterday. i went to the hotel parking garage (where i park for work) to get my car, and at the exact same time that i am getting out of the elevator in the garage, a kid is zooming toward me on his skateboard. ok. let me back that up. not really a kid. one of those manchildren you see walking around from time to time (caught between adolescence and his thirties). dressed like a punk-hipster sort. playmobile/no country for good haircuts/prince valiant blonde hairdo, wire-frame glasses, a bit chubby though wearing skinny jeans, smoking a ciggie, and also happened to be making a direct tangent toward me on his skateboard.

oh snap! this was the haircut on the right!
photo courtesy of Flickr and d&e

oh snap! this is a skateboard punkin!
photo courtesy of Flickr and soylentgreen23

except i hadn’t even gained but four feet of distance when he toppled over unceremoniously onto his non-ciggie hand, skateboard flipping out and flopping over to his side. the whole thing took place in slow motion. i practically saw it occurring even before it began to happen, and then, alas, it did happen.

“are you alright?!” i ventured one-quarter cautiously/three-quarters in disbelief. “oh yes,” he says, picking himself up business-casually and nonchalantly, “this happens all the time.” and i suppose by ‘this’ he meant falling. but what he actually meant was scaring parking garage denizens by practicing pratfalls in front of elevators on the regs. the punk lifestyle has very broad definitions (including taking mini-vacations from your mom’s basement), and this guy’s interpretation is more than welcome, comments the latest countercultural anthropologist.

3. also! this happened yesterday, with results today. i sent a happy birthday email to someone at work yesterday (on time, mind you), and she replied today morning with a “Thanks Aparana” but, as you can see, she spelled my name wrong. i believe the only proper response to this is a frowny face, so here goes:

photo courtesy of Flickr and tofslie

photo courtesy of Flickr and Joi

photo courtesy of Flickr and Just Taken Pics

it’s one thing to have someone mispronounce your name but misspell it in an email regularly! when your name is spelt properly not one inch away! CAMMAN. and may i add another CAMMAN for good, nay great, measure.

Nominated for Another Awk-award

April 2, 2008January 9, 201811 Comments

i have this new game i play at work. it’s a game of risk.

i write someone an email who works near me, and then i hit send. then at about the approximate time they would be reading it (five seconds later), i get up to leave my office for the bathroom or whatever, and i avoid eye contact with the person (to whom i sent the email), and pretend i hardly remember writing it―oh, it was so long ago! (this involves acting)

the object of the game is to feel weird and to make other people feel that you’re weird also.

my behavior is like an awkward hug. good intentions, poor execution.
photo courtesy of Flickr and allygirl520

LAST WEEKEND REC(r)AP, for no good reason:

friday night, i learned i can keep a good pout going for an entire evening, even through a comedy show! i should win a year’s worth of smiles (or eyebrow raises)!

saturday night, i learned coffee can wake you up beyond coherency and usefulness.

sunday night, i learned movies about puppies and kittens can actually be terrifying to watch (multiple bear fights).

i have also been enjoying the idea of pie + hammock. the marriage of one to the other, if you will.

PIE
photo courtesy of Flickr and VirtualErn