Tag: sneezing

Well, Bless Me

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I finally experienced one of those petite Victorian lady sneezes that appears as though your nose is saying “I beg your pardon most kindly” to your mouth, and there is a dainty, tiny exhalation of air slightly less powerful than a glaucoma eye puff test.

This is quite extraordinary, as I usually suffer from what is best described as my mouth’s attempt to regurgitate my nose clear off my face. That is the standard protocol.

Furthermore, I come from a family of extremely intense sneezers—both of the serial (dad) and garden sprinkler/honking (mom) varieties.

I wonder what the occasion was today that I could keep it together so well. Ah well, a reason to celebrate if there ever was one!

If You Sneeze Once, It Means Someone Is Thinking About You. If You Sneeze 100 Times, It Means a Virus Is Thinking About You.

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I can’t stop sneezing today. I just hit 50 times.

Oh snap, 52.

I read (with a grain of salt) that when you sneeze, it means someone is thinking about you.

53.

Alright! Come on now. My nose has been tingly since breakfast.


the nose knows irritation

57.

This is getting ridiculous.

I think I might be developing an allergy to…let me retrace my steps.

– saturday late afternoon: ate pizza – nose was fine.
– saturday evening: did improv show – no sneezing incidents.
– saturday late night: nachos and beer – nose started tingling.
– sunday morning: drove back to DC from north carolina – nose felt jazzy.
– sunday afternoon: improv class – nose felt snazzy.
– sunday evening: open mic – nose felt spazzy.
– monday morning: work – nose pulled a coup on my face.

I’m thinking it has to be nachos, beer, doing things, unknown cause, or good health.

If anyone has any suggestions for removing my nose from my face, please let me know. Also, whoever is thinking about me, you’re doing a really good job. Almost too good…(drawing attention to ominous trail-off)

In unrelated news, yesterday I was in a bookstore, and a big, thick book fell off the shelf on the floor right next to me. Get ready for unplanned humor. I picked it up to put it back. The book was called Putting the Movement Back into Civil Rights Teaching.

a) It’s Black History Month. I get it!
b) The book literally put movement back into civil rights teaching by falling on the floor!
c) You had to be there.

65.

I did find this nice quote.

“Drawing on my fine command of the language, I said nothing.”
Robert Benchley

67.

Sorry, surrounding cube-dwellers!

70.

Let’s end on a nice, round number.

71.

Enough.
75.
100! (a few hours later)
Ok I’m leaving. This is really something else!

This web comic XKCD, discovered today, is amazing.

105.