Going Strong

This email in my inbox made me shake my head and smile.

But wait, it gets better. I highlighted some interesting statements. (Click-to-zoom, yo.)

At this point, I would like to announce that I haven’t been able to actually get into my Friendster account for some time now, but maybe silence is the best feedback of all.

All that being said, big fan of the new logo!

Yes Aparna, There Is a Spam-ta Clause

This morning I had to take on a Gen-Y damage control shift because my mother (classy immigrant Baby Boomer that she is) accidentally joined a spammy social networking site via her email account, and it notified her entire contact list that they better be her friend or they would each hurt her feelings real bad 🙁 (the social networking site included the frowny face; it was not my idea). So this message went out to all her esteemed colleagues who, for doctors, have surprisingly creative email addresses, i.e., Dr. Peter Fergenbottom is fergie4eva67wutwut@MDeez.com.

Anyway, despite the crippling restrictions of her Wahoo email account including no more than five emails allowed to be sent per hour (Gmail: SAY WHAT?!), we managed to navigate to social success and liberation for all. Not before she got a couple notifications from so-and-so doctor who accepted her friend request. Pahaahaahahaaaaa!

Now she wants me to help her cancel her account on this social networking site. Oh but why, mater, we were just starting to have a little fun…at least upload a profile pic first before you leave so soon.

Do Judge a Facebook By Its Cover

I keep getting helpful Facebook notices that so-and-so is no longer in a relationship, or so-and-so went from “It’s complicated” back to “Random Play” back to “Married”…I think that’s full circle, social networthing-style.

My favorite is so-and-so went from “Engaged” to “Divorced”…that one’s rare like Haley’s Comet. But when it happens, it’s a must-see event. I also like when within the span of three minutes, one person goes from “Single” to “In a relationship” to “It’s complicated”…that makes me think people are having fights on IM while simultaneously updating and re-updating their status on Facebook. Meticulous much?

I wish there was a relationship status called “Fuzzy”. I know that’s more or less the same as “It’s complicated” but it would be less about the characteristics of the relationship per se, and more about the fact that who really knows what’s going on in someone’s social life at any given point.

I also think there should be a relationship status known as “Hot Mess” which would be equivalent to don’t ask, don’t tell.

A girl can dream, and refresh and re-refresh her mini newsfeed page…

Photo courtesy of Flickr and SheltieBoy.

Bam! In Your Face(book)!!!

Damn son, I just got a friend request from a gal on Facebook, immediately followed by an apology message (from the same broad) saying “Whoops! Never mind. I thought you were someone else.”

Except I sure-as-deoderized-armpits know this lassie!

ICE COLD.

Camman! It’s Wednesday, for the love of Pete’s sakes!

Where do I even proceed from here?

(I mean besides writing about it on the Internet.)

***

Also another failure on the life front. I have targeted one of the baristas at my sometimes-frequented coffee establishment as a consistent maker of subpar beverage concoctions. So whenever he’s on deck for making my dairy doozy, I make a mental note to taste it for tastiness (or lack thereof) before I leave the premises.

Today, he was onboard. I tried the proffered elixir, and it tasted like brown water with old pepper in it.

So what did I do?!? One would’ve hoped I asked for an immediate rematch, no questions asked.

Instead, I just walked away. Because I hate getting people in trouble.

Worst story ever. For everyone involved. Except maybe Mr. Barista. He also kept yelling “I’ll get it!” for everyone’s orders as if he were saving the day. Emphasis on “as if”.

It ain’t right. The coffee, I mean.
photo courtesy of Flickr and terin.

~~~

In conclusion, Facebook live status updates are bordering on wretched. As much as I’d love to hear what everyone is doing at every moment of the day, no, I actually don’t.

In fact, the worst happened recently to a friend of mine. She met someone at a party, and was immediately friended on Facebook at the very same party (because this person had one of those devious devices known as a Crackberry/iPhony), but then she and him ended up having a somewhat heated argument/discussion at the very same party, and she realized she didn’t even like this person very much. So now she has to read about what he’s doing all day because he wants to make sure people stay updated, and the circle of festering annoyance, as yet, remains unbroken.

(Moral: Make new friends, but not on Facebook. Not right away anyway. This is advice everyone will never take.)

She’s the only one who doesn’t seem to mind the status updates.
photo courtesy of Flickr and Sorosh

&&&

Literally, funny money.

[thanks for the tip, bro-Ham!]