All the Hot Minutiae As It Happens!

I just got a blank email from someone who goes by the moniker Darnell Muffins. It might be spam, but in the name of everything and anything magical, I hope it’s real.

Today was also the day my new office supplies came in! By which I just mean my very own set of “awesome pens” that I so humbly requested. Look at the colors and clicking technology! My purpose in life never made quite so much sense as it does now.

What I mean to say is I finally have something to talk about at the *NEW* water cooler (we switched to a new water dealer—but I’ll save that for another post). In fact, you won’t get me to shut up about them (especially at the upcoming pizza lunch). Look at me. I can’t stop bragging!

Also, I bumped into an old friend yesterday. He’s full of rage these days. I would recommend anger management classes, but I don’t want him to bite my head off.

SO SILLY. I need a time-out and a piece of humble pie.

Milk of Blognesia

sorry i’ve been on sabbatical (read: have had severe blog-stipation). here are some morsels:

out of office auto reply i went to new york city for specifically half a day and one night. and even more specifically for some comedy. it was a baby beluga whale of a good time!!! i’m bringing back that phrase. thank you nydia, my sister and her crew (breakdancing crew? yes actually), dip, helen, joanne and rashi for coming to see me and hanging out. your presences were sorely appreciated. my heart is still hurting from all the good will. it’s a good hurt though. the kind that leaves you short of breath and starry-eyed, slumped over a jukebox playing your favorite song.

so let’s get to the juice of the matter. the meat of the juicer. et ceterazzledazzle.

lazy crazy day. i was in new york city for too short a time to see anything too insane. i did pause in the middle of my no-nonsense downtown cosmopolitan walking to see some kind of a film shoot near madison square garden with a tall skeleton of an ethnically ambiguous man smoking a cigarette looking perpetually dissatisfied in the middle of it while gymnast-type circus youth did cartwheels around him. but other than that, nothing.

i am unashamedly pro-cartwheel.
photo courtesy of Flickr and AndrewEick

bird truck stop. when i came back from new york city, i was particularly disenchanted to find that my car (technically my parents’ car but the wheels i roll with while freeloading/joyriding) was covered in bird excrement. not just like in an “oops didn’t see that 2-ton piece of metal there, had a particularly ripe set of berries this morning, my bad” kind of way but in a “this is war, we hate you, leave no square inch unsullied” manner.

seriously every corner of my car has some type of streak or clump of feathered feces on it. as if some local bird gang is engaged in some fowl play. what gives! it’s not summer anymore. bikini car washes are a thing of the past. i’m not cleaning it up. and why? so i can have a nice spotless car for one day, only to return the next morning and have to literally say, “oh. same shit, different day.” NO THANKS. i guess i’ll just have to hope someone toilet papers my car during halloween so it’s more properly eqipped for future crap-cidents.

maybe they consider it a way of paying homage to something.
photo courtesy of Flickr and iwona_kellie

i only write memos. i went to an office meeting today with nothing but a tiny post-it pad. how i thought i could take sufficient notes on it was beyond me. i showed up and had a severe case of notepad envy when i saw some of the gigantic trapper keepaz my colleagues were toting with them. however, never one to accuse a glass of being half empty, i drank my fill of the sordid situation by mostly writing down things like office computer passwords, doctor appointment dates, smiley faces and inside jokes to myself. all in all, it wasn’t a productive meeting but it was a great second date between my conscience and my sense of humor!

someone had a very productive meeting!
photo courtesy of Flickr and Yandle

t-rex skeleton can now successfully flip the bird. quote of the week from paleonteologist scott hartman: “There is a reason that carrying meat away would be useful.”