Ain’t No Party Like the Communist Party…

…’cause the Communist Party don’t play. ~Stalio

I was a Re-education Supervisor at my improv theater’s “revolution-themed” fundraiser this past weekend.

photo courtesy: Dan O’Neil & Sarah Evans

Boyfie owns a Russian parade hat [red feather puff detachable]! Useful indeed for many an occasion.

I was arrested and sent to the gulag at one point where I had to create party propaganda in order to negotiate a release. I may have sold out some comrades in the process. 🙁 🙁 ;(

(That’s right. Winking frown. It’s about time that emoticon showed up on the circuit. Mixed messages? Check. Passive-aggressive? Checkmate. I love/hate it.)

As you were.

Flash in the Pancake

I don’t know why either, but I’m very pleased with this sentence I crafted earlier.

“I wrote someone a letter the other day, but I accidentally ate the first draft which was a pancake.”

I’m considering … the t-shirt route?

Uf. But it’s so fifteen minutes ago, back when ideas and breakfast were still fresh.

It could still happen. Sometimes the best way is cliched, and everyone knows it.

Presenting the mighty pancake:

Time for a close-up!
photo courtesy of Flickr and jslander

Oh, I didn’t realize my life suddenly became a fairy tale!
photo courtesy of Flickr and ninjapoodles

Stacked and packed.
photo courtesy of Flickr and jslander

The happiest pancake in all the world.
photo courtesy of Flickr and Rubyran

Senseless Nonviolence

people, you have no idea of the uproar in the office today! everyone is feeling quite angry. tumultuous like a cranky crowd waving torches and storming the drawbridge of the cubical castle with their grievances. but this is (re)pressed-collars-with-jeans-culture [i.e., biz-casz] so save the riots for tense AllStaff emails and awkward grumbles.

lemme ‘splain you what heppened.

they installed special energy-efficient light motion sensors in all of our offices overnight. very effective in terms of:

  • saving the world
  • implementing world-saving in a prompt, thorough, and uninvasive fashion
  • the end of all light switches – beastly and time-consuming devices

here’s where it gets mussy. when you walk into your office, the lights pop on! magic. a real minimalist wonderland. no clap-on/clap-off hootenanny. just plain “oh, you’re here? let there be light! TA-DAH!” a simple electrical jazzhands flourish. and we’re done, right?

(once more for nonchalant amusement) right?

(like you mean business) Right?

(in a desperate whisper) right?


then you’re sitting in your office clickety-clacking away industrial-revolutionary style, and BOOM. total eclipse of the room. darkness descends.

what is going on? Cloverfield? help! help us! HALPPPPPPPP. can i call my family? YALLLLP.

idea! PANIC.
photo courtesy of Flickr and PPDIGITAL

i get up to prepare for the worst. SNAP-click-cluck. LIGHTS-candid camera-action!

so the problem is, apparently, when you are sitting VERY STILL and working (?), ecofriendly lightbulbs decide you don’t exist anymore. apparently i work like a statue, stonefaced and cold to the touch. so the lights go out – snip, snap, yer done.

everyone is yapping about the state of things. the bread line at lunch was longer than usual. the very idea that you need to stand up, scratch your head, or do a little dance (the electric slide, naturally) to get the power going is more than any of us can bear to withstand.

it’s Dark Week here at the office.
photo courtesy of Flickr and Hamed Saber

but hey. my carbon footprint is smaller than yours, i think to myself, grinning and winning like a fool in the dark.

confession: i just did a one-person human wave in my office to restore the indoor sunshine.