Tag: voting

Von’t Dorget to Fote!

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So I voted this morning.

Then I got to work.

And my coworker arrived a bit later, all rough and tumble, and announced it took her THREE HOURS to vote. Lines! Rain! Other things!

Guess how long it took me?

5 MINUTES.

I don’t know how such disparities exist, but no, I’m not proud of the fact that my voting process was super convenient and easy as pie. There were lines at my polling place earlier, according to one coffee-toting mom standing near me so she ended up coming back.

Apparently, I just happened to arrive at the perfect time, and there was a bit of a line, but then they announced, “Does anyone have a last name that starts with M through Z?” And one second later, I was bussed clear to the front of the queue like royalty!

Then I got a paper ballot thing and my own special pseudocube to fill it out. And I felt like I was taking a standardized test, but I had only studied for one section of it, and I had to guess on the other ones (by patching together my dim recall of inflammatory radio ads).

Anyway, then I got a tiny sticker attesting the fact and I was out in half a knicker! Which was good because I parked illegally.

At least my coworker got a bigger sticker than I did. That’s some consolation.

Also I just got my flu shot at work.

I am a sticker-collecting machine!

If I Ruled the World, I’d Fire Myself and Hire a Kid to Replace Me

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In case you didn’t notice, kids (if polled at the right age) have some great opinions.

Which is just further proof that they should rule the world now (in terms of abstract matters rather than practical ones such as getting their raincoats on), and not later when they’re all growed up and jaded.

I have the luxury of frequenting a children’s (ch)art(er) school as a nighttime rehearsal space, and recently, the kids there partook in some kind of current events activity wherein they made election campaign posters for themselves and what they stood for. I deduced this line of reasoning from the many campaign posters all over the hallway walls.

This one was my favorite.

It has all the components of a winning candidate: cool name (check), likeness to Sponge Bob as a skater (check), and a fool-proof platform (check).

Who doesn’t like fun?! (Rhetorical, that’s who.)

Another girl’s campaign poster listed several reasons to vote for her, one of them being “because I am feeling more democratic than ever before.”

She wins all the prizes. That is one soundbite I’d like circulated.